I’m with you Piper.
I’ve changed my mind about writing this song about..
In light of National Dance Day recently passing, I always think back to my first real experience choreographing a set. It was a piece dedicated to a dear friend of mine that has always had self-esteem issues, and putting this together was one of the most challenging things in my life. I had barely any dance experience (and even worse was that this was a contemporary piece), knew nothing about lines/levels/textures/staging/musicality, and for the life of me could not teach anything. It was also the day after my Culture Night that I was directing, so the stress of two huge events coinciding tore at every waking fiber within me to give up.
As I sat in the audience watching the night of the dance concert, I really did tear up, to see all the 1-2 months of rehearsing come alive for 3 minutes. It’s what really made me fall in love with dance, and even more so to have my best friend xchristyy be my star dancer alongside. Looking back not with more experience I cringe at the sloppiness of the set, but for my first time, I’m proud of putting something together and having a really warm reception from the audience, overhearing from some that it was their favorite of the night too.
kids with broken legs dont have to do PE but kids with social anxiety still have to do public speaking, isnt there a problem there
Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness clouds our minds. We think too much, we feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness, gentleness.
Watsky Feat. Passion.
You think time stops dead where love begins.Played 8 times.
The questions that always stab at my conscious revolve around how I feel when things ended between the two of us.
It’s a wretched and deplorable feeling. But I will not bring myself to say anything near that context, because I will continue looking at it through any positive lens I can. Break-ups have never been easy, even more so the end of something that was not yet stable enough to be a “break-up”. And that’s what hurts. That’s the most painful part.
Just a little longer, a little more time with you, one more date, who knows. We were steady, and I was proud to say that to others. But when things ended, I swore that I would not let it end on a bad note. As the storm came tearing through the household I childishly began to build for us in my mind, I refused to buckle down and instead listened to the beauty of the windchimes. If it was going to end, I wanted it to be an end that leaves me happy for everything that happened.
So when people ask me about if I’ve ever been in love, I just tell them “It was the best phase of my life”.
european dude: *struggles to speak english with a heavy accent*
everyone: omg how adorable!!!
south asian dude: *struggles to speak english with a heavy accent*
everyone: uh wow lol go back to your country
It’s interesting to note that when I look around in my seemingly empty room I am reminded that this is all i have. I used to be a sentimental hoarder who would keep all little nametags from volunteer events, all badges from cross country/track meets, all the letters/cards close friends have written to me, and practically everything that once crossed my life as me being involved in something.
Every year I would buy a yearbook and have as many people sign it as possible that I talked to, even if it wasn’t many, because I always looked ahead in thinking that I would like to be reminded of the “good times”. Even after I graduated high school, I would periodically look back at my high school yearbooks to read the comments in need of reassurance that I am someone worth something. I have always needed reassurance.
I’ve moved out and been on my own for practically 3 years now, and currently my room has nothing. No awards, no medals, no letters, no memories. I have a box of clothes, my laptop, a few makeshift accessories (mixed martial arts gear/nerf guns/board games), but that is all. I have left my past behind me, because I have learned that those who are unable to leave things behind aren’t able to prosper as much going forward. Those items were memory holders, and the way I look at them now, if I need an item to link a memory, then the memory isn’t worth looking back at.